How I Ate My Way Out of a Mid-life Slump

The last 12 months have been interesting for me. I have found out that I have a bicuspid and leaky aortic valve (instead of a tricuspid and non-leaky one) and will most likely need a replacement valve in the next few years (the pigs in the neighbourhood are getting nervous); we moved our family of six, including eight weeks old Josie, from Asia to America, via Australia; we had a pretty high number of minor to moderate health issues affecting everyone in our family; I turned 40; I stopped exercising and was expanding my 'horizons'; and I was transfered from a demanding and satisfying position in Hong Kong to a very different assignment at the headquarters of my organization.

For a week, as we visited in Australia in between Hong Kong and Salt Lake City, I went through what I will call a mini-midlife crisis (not to be confused with the 'midwife crisis' that we went through when Grace was born). Getting sick with a severe stomach ailment hours before our flight to Brisbane, having to pack, close an apartment and move children and bags 4,000 miles, and what ever else I was feeling at the time combined to create a weird cocktail of high anxiety and a low like I have never felt before. All I wanted to do was go to bed and sleep until life was sunny again.

Well, my family were amazing. They helped me through these few days, that felt like an eon.

We made it to the US and here we are today, almost a year on. That low continued on for several months to varying degrees, for the reasons stated earlier. But am I still slumping my way through mid-life? Absolutely not. Life is wonderful. Relationships are rich and the future is as bright as the twinkle in Josie's eyes.

So what changed? I did. And here is how I did it. I ate my way out of my mid-life slump. Now this has nothing to do with food or eating. The "ate's" I am talking about are these three simple words: activ-ate, rel-ate and cre-ate. Something clicked in my mind and I realised that sitting and waiting for bad things to happen would probably work.

I needed to activate my mind, body and spirit. I started reading more, including books that would help my career, my family and strengthen my faith. I began to run, cycle, play golf, tennis and do other exercise. I prayed with more energy and purpose. As I endeavoured to activate myself, I found that I wanted to relate more to my wife, my children, other members of my family and those I associated with. Even people on the train. I wanted to listen to their stories and laugh more, discuss important and not-so-important subjects with more of my attention. I found a stronger urge to connect with people, especially those who were eternally significant to me, including family, God and Christ. As I opened the door to more activating and relating in my life, I noticed a swelling desire to create. To make things, and to make them well. I wanted to create better relationships, friendships, work projects and outcomes, and health levels. Poetry started coming out of my head. Family history and other writing projects sprung up. I even set a goal to get a golf handicap.

This pattern has blessed my life these past few months. I share it with you, for what it's worth (and out of a genuine feeling to relate and create). You may have already learned this lesson, or perhaps you see things differently. That's fine. It is working for me and that means the world to me - because truly enjoying the people and things I love, with purpose and passion, is worth more than anything. I call it living deliberately.

Rich